Wednesday, April 21, 2010
The sorrow is turning to anger. First it was dispare and sadness mixed, then it all came out in tears from two holes in my face, my brain was angered at the disturbance as it ached with the fact of the life around me. O' help!
To stop this cry that reaches from my heart and pours down my cheeks, this endless longing for a basic knowing.
Fighting the thoughts that threaten to push me back into the black, misty hole where arms are desperately trying to reach at me, grab me and pull be down into the inky blackness of no return.
I fight. I struggle. In my mind its all a battle field of thoughts and words of which I have let grow and take root for too long.
But somewhere there is a sprig of truth being tossed around for a lie. It's stem is both fresh green and a golden yellow and it shines like a light in the middle of a gray and horrific battle field. Will I reach the petal and grasp it up and treasure it and believe that it is more right and more truth than all the carnage I see on every side?
This is the mystery and this is the battle field where I fight.
Isaiah 55:10-11 "For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower and bread to the eater: So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it."