Total abandonment to the One who died so that I could live.

It has been a while since I have been on here [as is obvious] and today when I logged on I scrolled through my posts and saw that when I first started this blog it was the day of my 19th birthday. Well that is almost one whole year ago. Time flies.

This update is just an excerpt from an email I was writing out to my friend to day and its the subject that has been on my heart lately.

"I know how it feels being scared about stepping out for God and all. I battle the same thing. But really its just all about love and obedience. And we've just gotta look fear and the face with the "I just don't care" attitude and step out. I've done it before and it works. (Makes me wonder why I don't do it more often). Oh and about feeling inadequate, that's no excuse unfortunately. (I try to use that one on God often, it doesn't hold up). He is using "inadequate" people every second all over the globe. All He needs and wants is willingness and obedience. Look at Moses for instance, He didn't even know God and He was "slow of speech" but God appeared to Him in a really dramatic way and told Him to go and do a really dramatic thing. It was scary and Moses was scared but He stepped out. God used Him. He was called "A friend of God". Actually the book I am reading is not a 'preaching-at-you' sort of book. Its just a book sharing true stories and God has been extracting old truths out of it and bring them to my attention (Sister Freaks - Rebecca St James). Things that I had forgotten and buried under the "old-school religion" files. But Jesus is showing me, its not "old" or "religious" its called abandoning all to Him and sacrificing everything because He sacrificed His son for us. In our western world we don't know the meaning of sacrifice, we've watered down God's will and Word to suit our lifestyles ("Oh we'll go without one of our favourite foods for 40 days" or something. (Not criticizing anyone or anything, just thinking that there is more). All good intentions to be sure, but we cannot escape from the truth of the absolute hardcore sacrifice God gave us which was His son. Have you seen Will Smiths "Seven Pounds"? For me, that movie really brought to life what Jesus did for us and how we therefore should live out our life. Think about it. The character that Will Smith plays gives vital parts of His body to people who were struggling to live without them. In turn, how do you think these people [who were now free to live a normal life without fear of dying from their unfortunate circumstances] would feel? I know if I was in that position I would not take life for granted and I would try to live every day keeping in mind that a man died so I could live this day (and every day of my life) out in health and freedom. I would want to make the most of every second, every minute. Well, Jesus did no less, more in fact and look at the way we (or at least I) treat my life at times and live it so selfishly, as if its not worth all that much or of any great importance. But that wasn't how the King of Kings saw our lives as worth. He gave up everything for us because He saw us so worth it. Its only right, that I lay everything down in return at the feet of our King in honour and respect and thankfulness and love and reverence of what He did for me. He gave us life. Therefor we should be living it for Him with every fiber of our being. My spirit craves that life but my flesh screams at me and fights and kicks all the way. Its a journey in itself to get my flesh overcome by building my Spirit up stronger in Christ. I am so selfish. Jesus has made His power available to us and look how we live? We let the devil stamp and stomp all over us. If we truly knew who were were in Christ and really understood ALL that He has done for us. We would be 'blown away' and the devil in turn would be terrified of us. Anyway....that's my little raving rant for the day."

To love so much puts one in a vulnerable place. Jesus risked so much for love but "...for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame..." (Hebrews 12:2). Every soul that ever makes the decision to accept Him, every decision that we make to love, honour and obey Him is worth it. To Him it is worth all the pain He went through. Let us make more of those decisions and bring ultimate joy to our maker.

"Crucified
Laid behind a stone
You lived to die
Rejected and alone
Like a rose
Trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all"

Above All - Michael W. Smith